I have plans. Plans that don't include stopping for my autoimmune diseases. Plans that will help me maximize the enjoyment I can get out of my life as it is.
First, I'm making time for hobbies and things I enjoy. Things like cross stitching, learning embroidery, reading, baking, etc.
I'm learning how to make sourdough bread. I had my first successful loaf last week. I'm taking this week off, because I've had a nasty stomach bug. But the satisfaction of baking my first loaf was unreal! The thrill of seeing my creation baking up beautifully. The glorious taste of homemade bread that *I* made.
I'm learning how to do embroidery. I already cross stitch extensively, so embroidery is just another level. I'm leaning new stitches that are just lovely. I have plans for this hobby. Plans that include homemade gifts that will be meaningful rather than things that I happened to find online.
My hands hurt a lot of the time because of my autoimmune diseases, but I'm trying to still pursue hobbies. It gives me purpose.
Second, I'm getting a cat. I've been searching for the perfect fit cat, but all the ones I've hoped to go meet have been adopted already. That just tells me that my perfect fit is still out there. I'm ready to travel to pick up my perfect pet. I have several new candidates that I'm hoping I can meet. This cat will really be a lifesaver for me. An emotional support animal. My anxiety has reached what feels like catastrophic levels and I've got to have help. I can't be with my therapist 24/7, and I adore cats. This feels like the perfect solution.
I tried an ESA once before, and it was a disaster. There were multiple reasons, I think. My cat was an old man who was used to having the free range of the garage and huge yard at my parents' house. He'd never been an inside cat, and it was a very tough adjustment for both of us. I'd never had an inside cat, and I wasn't ready for one to be independent and do what he wanted, where he wanted. I've been discussing this at length with my therapist, and he's helping me to feel ready and prepared. It will be a bit of time yet, but it's coming sooner than I'd though possible. I'm very excited.
The school year is coming to a close rapidly. I can't believe April is nearly over. It's gone by so fast. This has been a tough year. Adjusting to a younger grade level has been hard. I taught third grade when I first started teaching, but then I spent 9 years in 4th grade. There's a huge difference between third and fourth graders. I wasn't ready for the changes. Plus, this group has been tough. They're not poorly behaved at all. We've hit a pretty decent stride for the most part. Motivation has been hard and the tattling...OH, THE TATTLING. It drives me crazy to hear the 'he looked at my funny' whines that I get all day long. It's times like that when I have to stop and remind myself that they are 8-9 years old and this is developmentally normal. It's definitely been an adjustment. Next year will be better because I'll at least be prepared for the differences.
Now I'm just trying to stay healthy (hah. easier said than done) I'm trying to find the energy to get anything done at home on the weekends. (How did I ever work a five-day week?!) I'll be seeing my rheumatologist in May again, and hopefully we'll be able to come up with a better plan. My meds are no longer working and the pain is getting worse by the day. I'm trying, I really am. It's hard. Invisible illnesses are devastating. People seem to think that because they can't see anything wrong, there isn't. But oh, there's so much. Having your own body be at war with itself is incredibly tough and exhausting. I'm trying.
