First Week of School

Well, the first week of school is over. 

THANK GOODNESS.

I am whatever is beyond exhausted. My class is interesting. This week has been rough, but I'm hoping it's just the excitement of a new school year, new teacher, new classmates. I HOPE. Otherwise, it's going to be a long year. 

I've got some things started that will hopefully help my students get back into the school groove. Blurting, yelling across the room, and constant talking are problems we're facing. I've started a blurt bean jar and blurtsheets (worksheets, but better). No one wants a blurtsheet, so they're trying harder. That makes me hopeful!

I'm glad for the weekend to decompress and get some things done at home. Usually we're a four-day week, but the first four weeks of school are five days. That ends up being 40 hours with students. FORTY HOURS WITH STUDENTS. I can't even begin to tell you how draining that is. I'll be glad to get those done with.

Next weekend, my mom, my sisters, and I are going to have a girls' weekend. We're meeting up in Utah Valley, where one sister lives. It's halfway for all of us. We're planning to go to the temple, go to Swiss Days in Midway (we're Swiss and visited Switzerland two years ago, so this is going to be amazing!), pedicures, games, and fun. I'm looking forward to it so much! We all need it.

Anyway, that's what's up. I hope that next time I have good news to report about my class's progress!

Craziness!!

Today was the last day of school this year. My former district ended 2 weeks ago, so these last 2 weeks have been looooooooonnnnnnnng and torturous. Everyone (including me) was feral and ready to be done. We finally made it though, and wouldn't you know it, there was crazy involved.

I had a strong feeling this morning that I needed to get to school early. I woke up late, my morning was chaotic, but I just couldn't shake that feeling. So I left before I was entirely ready to go. I got to school about 10 minutes before I usually do. When I got to my door, I thought it looked blurry, and wondered if it was something wrong with my contacts. I opened the door, and a cloud of smoke and electrical fire smell washed over me. I was so scared!

I ran inside (maybe not the smartest thing I've ever done...) and opened the windows. Thank goodness for windows that open. I checked everything I had plugged in, and none of the outlets were hot and none of the cords looked burned. I unplugged everything anyway. I then ran to get our assistant principal (our principal was out today for his daughter's wedding) and she was able to get in touch with the head maintenance guy. Looking back, I wonder why we didn't call the fire department? I have no idea. I blame the last day of school brain.

When the maintenance guy got there within 2 minutes of our call, he went through my room too. He also found nothing, which was a huge relief. I was afraid that I'd plugged something in that was causing the problem. Whew! 

After he went through my room, he opened the utility closet between my classroom and one of my teammate's. He immediately found the problem. I learned that we each have our own furnace (who knew this school was so fancy!) and the control panel on mine had burned. It was burned beyond recognition. It was twisted grotesquely and looked horrifying. The guy told me that we were probably within minutes of flames. What. The. Heck?!

At that moment, my brain jumped to the feeling I'd had all morning. We were within minutes. MINUTES. Hmmm...maybe like the ten minutes early that I got there?

I am SO glad I listened, even though I was having a *morning*. I'm so glad we were able to get to the problem pretty quickly. I'm so glad that we avoided flames. My classroom would have been destroyed, along with the thousands of dollars of educational things I have in there. Yeah, I don't have that kind of money to toss around, and because just about everything in the room is my personal property, the school insurance wouldn't have covered it and I'd be out of luck. I'm definitely thinking about classroom insurance, if that's a thing.

We were unable to use the classroom for the planned activities. It was still smokey and the smell was awful. Maintenance brought in big fans to suck the smoke out, so that cleared pretty quickly. But the smell didn't lessen at all. Ugh. I'm afraid that a lot of things will need a trip to the cleaner. I have a bunch of Idaho pillows that I made while teaching fourth grade, and they weren't in my office. Nothing in my office was affected because the door was closed and apparently it has a decent seal. But the pillows are on top of the cupboards out in the classroom, so they'll have picked up the electrical fire smell. UGH.

All things considered though, a trip to the dry cleaner for my pillows is a small price to pay considering what could have happened.

I hope I always stop and listen when those thoughts pop up.

It's the end of an era...or something

One year ago today, I was on my way to Paris. It seems like yesterday and also forever ago. Weird. I'd give anything to be on my way there again. Instead, here I am in Rexburg, waiting to get into my new classroom in St. Anthony. They don't get out of school for another two weeks, so I'm trying to be patient. It's not going well.

My Kennedy classroom has been emptied of all my things. It seems huge now, but desolate. It was hard to take down all the things I had up and pack things into boxes. It's hard to see everything stacked up at my parents' house. It kind of feels...untethered. I'm in limbo, and that's not a place I enjoy. I like to have things all mapped out, even if they almost never go according to plans. I like to think I have some semblance of control.

It's also kind of the end of an era. My fourth grade team taught together for seven years. We had things fine-tuned and working like a dream. We adjusted as we went, to meet the needs of our kids. We worked so well together. We were a machine! We joked with people that we were buy one, get two free. We knew it had to end at some point, but we wanted to end on our own terms. Here's a prime example of things not going according to plan. Oh well. It is what it is, and the upcoming change will be good for all of us. It's not like we'll never get together again. But if I'm being completely honest, I am floundering a bit. I need to get my feet back under me, and getting into my new classroom will help with that.

It'll probably be another three weeks until I can get in and start getting things set up. Until then, I am planting flowers and basil, working on deep cleaning my apartment, breaking in my new sewing machine (!), working on my cross stitch project that I've been working on for years, finishing my second master's degree (in Curriculum and Instruction), and reading. I'm getting into yoga to help with my autoimmune disease and I'm trying hard to get into a healthy eating pattern. Even though I'm not going anywhere this summer, I'm planning on making the most of it and enjoying my time.

Here's to a bright future!

Just some thoughts

Hello, May!

May is a time of chaos: field trips, programs, middle school tours, going through my classroom, choosing what to take and what to leave, selling things, packing an entire classroom, renting a UHaul, making arrangements to get into my new classroom, moving, last day of school...

Really, the list could go on and on. May is made for craziness. So many things going on and so many things to plan for. 

I have so many mixed feelings right now. I'm so excited for the change in districts coming for me. I'm excited for a new school and new friends. I'm excited to work in a different community.

At the same time, I feel bad about all the kids I don't get to teach here in Rexburg now. I will miss the ones I have taught. I will miss their families. I will miss seeing former students as we take current students on a middle school tour. 

Even though I have things I will miss, I have zero regrets. 

Zilch.

None.

Nada.

There comes a point in life where you decide to take charge of your future and not let others choose your path. When only your expectations get to be considered. When you refuse to let anyone make you feel less than or unnecessary. When you get to be excited to go into a place where you get actual prep time that is paid. When you get to wear jeans every day without having to pay for it. 

Really, it's the small things that make a huge difference. 

I am willing to take a pay cut for the small things. (I actually won't be taking a pay cut with my new job, but I *would* if it came to it and I got the environment I'm seeking.) The small things show you that you matter. 

I truly think that the things that have been going on this past year have been the push I needed to get out and move on. Change normally fills me with dread and massive anxiety, but this change hasn't done that. That's how I know it's absolutely the right thing to do at this time in my life.

I'm excited about what the future holds for me. I'm looking forward to the small things. I'm ready to live the next chapter of my life instead of just dreaming it.

Here's to a bright future!

Exciting Things!

I have exciting news! I have accepted a third grade position at Henry's Fork Elementary in St. Anthony, Idaho. It's part of the Fremont School District. I am really excited for this change and the opportunities that will arise from it.

Here are some of the things I'm excited for: 

1. Four day week! I can't believe I am lucky enough to move to a district that has a four day schedule. School days go a little longer, which is awesome. I've said for years that I could use an extra hour in the day! We work one or two Fridays a month, but it's a work day and not a student day. So I actually have a chance to enjoy a weekend rather than feeling like I have to go in to make sure I'm caught up.

2. Jeans! I get to wear jeans every day and I don't have to pay to do it! I've always thought it's ridiculous that teachers everywhere don't get to wear jeans regularly. I know the intent is to create a more professional atmosphere, but wearing jeans doesn't make me any less professional when I'm spending time on the floor with my kids in business casual. Jeans just seem more conducive to the job. As a side note, in my former district, I did pay to wear the jeans, because I wanted to support the education foundation who raise money for teacher grants.

3. Prep time! Weird thing to get excited about, right? Not when you're coming from a job where you were lucky to get half an hour once a week. My before and after school hours were filled with meetings, phone calls, etc. so very little actual planning got to happen. I had to stay longer, come in on weekends, or take work home to stay caught up. I actually got to the point where I wasn't willing to do that any longer, because it was taking a toll on my physical and mental health. I always gave 100% while I was there, but once contract hours were up, I had to leave for my own sake. Now I will have almost an hour EVERY DAY. Every. Single. Day. I don't even know what I'm going to do with that amount of time! Okay, yes I do. I'm going to work hard to get things done so that I don't have to come in on non-work Fridays or weekends.

4. Pay raise! I will be making more money at my new job than I am at my current job. That's always a plus! I'd like to be able to get out of debt and then buy a house (to get in more debt, but whatever). 

5. New friends! Everyone I've met at my new school is so friendly and kind. I've been lucky in my current job that I've worked with really fantastic people who have become good friends, and even best friends. It will be good for me to get to know new people though, and this gives me a great opportunity to do that.

6. Not living in the same town I teach in! That may sound weird, but I have a hard time living in the community I teach in. I am the kind of person that needs separation between parts of life. I don't like it when my work life crosses with my personal life, unless it's by my own choice with my friends.

7. Mostly the same curriculum. I don't even have to really learn any new curriculum. They have a different math program, but math is math. The language arts and phonics intervention programs are the same as what I've been teaching. They literally just bought these two programs! I'm going in with a head start, and I hope that I can be a good resource for my new colleagues in using these programs.

8. A bit of a drive. Again, a weird thing to be excited about, but I have my reasons. Right now, it takes me less than five minutes to get from home to work. It's not a lot of time to collect my thoughts and decompress. I will have a bit longer commute now. Honestly, it doesn't really even count as a commute, because it'll be 20 minutes max. But I need my quiet time to just be still. I look forward to the quiet of my drive.

9. Having an on-site counselor. This is HUGE. Kids are experiencing more things earlier in life, and I am just not qualified to help them effectively. I don't have the training for these things! I can be sympathetic and try my best, but it's not the same as a mental health professional. I will have access to someone who IS qualified and I am so excited about that. 

10. The peace of mind I have. This year has been really hard on me. I've experienced a lot of mental and physical health challenges in the past few years, and they seem to have really come to a head this year. I am in almost constant physical pain, my anxiety has been worse, and my overall mental health has suffered. I can't blame work for causing the struggles, but it definitely hasn't helped. There's been a lot more stress and feelings of inadequacy; like I can't do anything right. It's been really difficult. I feel at peace with my choice to leave and seek out new employment. I feel like it is the right thing for me at this point in my life. I've also wondered if maybe all the stress has actually been a tool to help me make the right choice. 

I will be able to get into my new classroom the first week in June. I am planning to keep my decor the same - it's very calming and I think it's lovely. I have started packing things already. I don't want to wait until the last week of school and be stressed about it. I am taking the things I don't currently need. It's also giving me a chance to get rid of anything that is outdated or useless. I'm also taking things that belong to me personally, so that they don't get left behind in the shuffle. Most of the things in my room have come out of my pocket, so I'm taking those. I've been able to sell some things too, which is nice. The biggest challenge will be moving my classroom library. It's huge. Massive. Over 4,000 books. I will need to weed out some that might not be suitable for third grade, but I'll be able to use most of them. 

I can't wait to share my new adventures as they unfold!

Coming Back after the Flu

Man, last week was ROUGH. I tested positive for influenza and missed the entire week of work, which I haven't done since I had my hysterectomy 2 1/2 years ago. I was so so so so so sick. I didn't even do much reading, which tells you how bad it was! 

Coming back though, was so sweet. Not only because I was going crazy at home, but because my kids were so excited to see me again. I had so many hugs today! It was really nice after a week of zero contact. One thing that really stuck out to me was that several of my kids said they were so happy to have me back because people do what they're supposed to do when I'm there, and that they KNOW what the expectations are with me. There aren't any surprises for them. That's one thing I'm pretty good at - consistency. Kids need it! They crave it, even if it's hard to put it into words.

Being there with the kids is my favorite part of teaching. They're why I stay. It would be easier (much easier) to go a different direction and get into a profession with more respect, better pay, and everything I need to succeed. Public education gets a really bad rap, and sure, in some cases it's deserved. But MOST of us are giving our very best to help these kids succeed. I wish more people would come in and SEE for themselves, instead of listening to talking heads who don't actually know what they're talking about. I wish people would stop trying to gaslight educators into thinking that the way we're treated and paid is appropriate, because IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN. You know who else is in it for the children? Pediatricians. Show me a doctor who gets treated, disrespected, vilified, and paid like a teacher and I'll shut up.

For now, I'll keep doing what I do best: meet kids where they are and help them push harder and reach higher than they thought they could.

Teachers and Being Sick

One thing about teachers is that it's usually easier to just go to work sick than it is to prep sub plans and even find a sub. I'm on my third day out this week (hopefully will be back tomorrow), and I can tell you it would have been MUCH less hassle to just go in. I've felt horrendous, but it still would have been easier. 

The last two days, I was lucky enough to have a sub (not a good one, but a warm body at least). Today, not so much. I listed the job on our sub website, but no one picked it up. It's so hard to get a sub at the best of times! What on earth to do when there's no sub and no way you can go in? You'd think that with my anxiety, this would be a very tough call and one that I stressed about endlessly. However, I have an AMAZING team. We look out for each other. We help each other out. We ALWAYS have each other's backs. Today is no exception. I found out from my aide that instead of being upset, my partners just split my class and went about their business. 

This doesn't surprise me in the least. It's what we do. I can't even count the number of times that we've needed to split a class for whatever reason. I feel incredibly lucky to work with two people who truly do have my back. I have theirs too. I can't think of a time when we didn't function like this. We've been together for seven years and we've created something special. From a teacher standpoint, it's a dream team! One that you search for and hope to eventually find. We're incredibly blessed. 

I know I'm lucky. It can be rare to find what we have. We're three alphas who set that aside to work together for the benefit of our kids. There are no egos involved, because it's not about us. Everything we do is about the kids. These two teachers are my best friends and basically family. We do things together outside of work. We joke that we're buy one, get two free. If I could, I'd teach with these two forever! 

June?

June appears to be about to suffer the same fate as May. In other words, passing by like a blur without me even taking stock of what's going on. Such is life, I suppose.

Just so that this doesn't quite happen, here's what's been going on in June.

1. Summer school. I'm teaching 4th grade for June, including some of the kids who were in my class. That's been fun. It's super relaxed and chill. I've really enjoyed it. We've been able to have a lot of fun in areas that aren't generally considered fun *coughwritingcough*, and that's been awesome. Kids have actually been excited to write! This almost literally NEVER HAPPENS to me because I get the lame trade no one wants to go to. Yay me. I've enjoyed worked with the other teachers I'm partnered with as well. Neither of them teach in my building, so it's been loads of fun to get to know them and learn things from them. I'm hoping to do this every year!

2. I've finished a bunch of books that have been awesome, okay, and not so fabulous. Perhaps reviews will be forthcoming. Perhaps not. Totally depends on time. I've got a week of school left, then a reunion, and then we'll see.

3. I JOINED A DATING SITE GUYS.

Like seriously, I did. I don't even know what I was thinking beyond feeling very tired of being alone and wanting to feel like I was being slightly proactive. This one is LDS (not church sponsored, just church standards {IN THEORY}) and so hopefully the quality of fellows is higher than on other sites.

Okay, I'm not exactly holding my breath for that, because I met my ex-fiance through an LDS dating site and I'm pretty sure he was a closeted serial killer, so...

Look, I'm just taking it slow and being careful. I've been very up front about what I want, what I definitely DON'T want (I'm allowed to do that, BTW. None of this garbage about 'you can go out with anyone at least once' this time. NO, I DO NOT HAVE TO DO THAT, THANKS FOR PLAYING BYE.) I had a conversation going with one fellow, and when he found out that one of my requirements was that he make at least what I make, he bailed. Then I looked closer and realized that he was pretty much unemployed, so YEAH. Not looking for a sugar daddy, and definitely not looking to be someone's sugar mama. He also wasn't cool with my politics, which okay, that's fine, but he felt like if I didn't worship at the altar of Trump, we wouldn't match well. That's probably a good thing to find out early, yo. Because I definitely don't worship there, thanks. We wouldn't have gotten along very well at all.

There are a couple of potentials out there, which honestly surprises me. One, in fact, is like me, only a dude. He reads multiple books at once! I've literally NEVER met a guy who does that. I'm hoping we click, because that would be amazing. We'll see.

And in the meantime, WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING HERE AND WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA AND SAVE ME NOW

4. My classroom is almost completely ready for back to school in August. The benefit of teaching summer school and having college students working in the room is that they need teaching time. So while they're teaching, I get to work on other things. Of course, I'm keeping an eye on things and helping where I'm needed. BUT. The huge benefit is that I've been able to get all the little nitpicky things done already. I've updated a couple of decor things that I wasn't loving, printed out all my open house pamphlets, worked up a new substitute binder, made new spelling cards, etc, etc. I've gotten a TON done. Now I feel like I'm going to actually be able to enjoy the summer after school ends. Such a huge blessing! I'm totally not going in after this week until the week before school starts. I have about 800 people holding me to that, so it better happen.

5. I've been working on a major project to sell on Teachers Pay Teachers. Some people actually double (or more!!) their income this way. I'm hoping to get to that point. Right now, I'm creating a HUGE math meeting powerpoint, that is designed to fill the holes that our fancy curriculums don't quite fill. Things like calendaring, time, money, and fact practice. Our program is awesome, but it's lacking a spiral review almost entirely. And the basic skills are non-existent. I guess they felt like by fourth grade, kids wouldn't need those skills? Yeah. Not the best idea ever. So I'm filling holes. I'm also working on some data folder things for TPT, and a multiplication battleship game. In order to sell well, they've got to be all cutesy, and I am DEFINITELY NOT CUTESY, so this is a challenge. But I'm trying.

So there's June. All in all, it's been a pretty good month. Just a flash-by month. Life is good.

Well, May just kind of happened.

Honestly, I look back over the last few weeks and they're pretty much a giant blur. Did I do anything? Did I even finish school?

There are times I'm not sure! Although, having started summer school, I'm pretty sure that the end of school was back there somewhere. It's hazy.

Anyway, I'm teaching summer school for the first time this year, and I'm enjoying it. It's so much fun! It's really a whole different ball game than regular session school. No pressure, no grades, just a lot of fun. I'm teaching the writing portion (figures...), so I'm trying out some things that I may want to incorporate in my writing classes this fall.

The best part is that I'm able to spend a little extra time each day prepping for the new school year. I don't have to change much in my room, so it's just little things. By the time summer school is out, I'll be completely ready for back to school! I'm not going in until the week before school starts.

This means I have plenty of time to get my Teachers Pay Teachers store up and running. I've got all these ideas for products, but haven't really had a ton of time to work on them. Last year, I was busy prepping a new classroom theme, new curriculum, and all sorts of other things that came up. None of that is happening this year, so I'm going all out on TPT.

Hold me accountable, please?!

A thing that happened...

So a thing happened today that made me stop and think about stuff. I've been really sick and miserable, and just not wanting to do literally anything. I went for three DAYS without reading and if you know me well, you KNOW that's like rock bottom for me. I've had a hard time really getting back into the swing of things, though I've been trying hard. I still don't feel great, but I'm making progress.

Anyway, I was walking down the hallway to the teacher lunch room (I KNOW, people always say to avoid that room like the plague, but you guys. I NEED tall talk after a morning of boogers, bodily functions, drama, tattling, and everything else that goes along with little ones), and I passed a group of first graders. One of them walked past my classroom every day last year, and wouldn't pass without giving me and the other fourth grade teachers a giant hug. Now, this gal is pocket-sized, and just the cutest thing, so her giant hugs are absolutely adorable. Anyway. She gives me her giant hug on my way down to lunch and is all happy. One of her classmates gets into a faceoff with her, puts his hands on his hips and demands to know if I'm her aunt or something. He wants to know why she's always hugging me.

This girl. Oh, this girl!! She puts her hands right back on her hips, faces off with Mr. Snarky, and says in a very loud first grade tiny person voice, "NO, SHE IS TOTALLY ONE OF MY BFFs." And then turned around, got back in line, and went on her merry way. She was not having it. Not even a little. She stood up, made it known that her action was a-okay, and that she was not to be questioned.

This girl is going places, people.

As for me, it made me stop and think. What's really important? I had this dream last night that there was a fire and I lost every single thing I own, and was left completely destitute. It was upsetting. I was kind of out of sorts over it all morning, and then Little Miss M happened, and I realized that I'm the BFF of a pocket-sized first grader, and all is suddenly right in my world.

If you don't have a first grade BFF, I feel sorry for you.