Book Review: A Pursuit of Home

It's been awhile since I talked about a book, so it's fitting to come back with a new favorite!

When she learns the family she thought dead might be alive and in danger, Jess Beuchene knows her secrets can only stay buried for so long. Desperation brings her to Derek Thornbury, an expert in history and artifacts, to help her decipher the clues in an old family diary. Will their search to uncover the truth of the past lead to a future together? (Goodreads)

Kristi Ann Hunter is one of my most favorite authors, and this book reminds me why that is. In this case, Jess was a minor character from previous books who never really stood out to me. She wasn't someone I remembered, and definitely not someone I cared about. Kristi made her larger than life here, and she became a favorite character. I really liked her. She definitely would have the potential to grate, as she is sometimes not very likable, but she really didn't. I think that's part of what makes Kristi such a great author. She's able to take this character who is interesting, and also sometimes very lacking in social skills, and makes her sympathetic.

I really liked Derek. He was very bookish, and I find that very attractive. He's also very into art history, which I also find very attractive. Art History was one of my many majors before I 

finally got myself figured out. Derek was loyal and brave, doing his very best to protect someone who hadn't been very nice to him up to this point.

I liked the conflict. Verbonne seemed so REAL! I actually googled it to see where it was on the map...that's before I read Kristi's notes at the back, where she explained that it wasn't a real country. Could have fooled me! The way it was described reminded me of pretty much every small European country ever. It's very obvious that Kristi did a ton of research on revolutions during that time period, because it all felt very authentic to me.

I really loved this book, and I'm anxious to see what Kristi comes up with next. She's an auto-buy author, for sure! I highly recommend this series. If you're new to Kristi's books, I recommend starting with A Noble Masquerade, as it'll have background information and characters that play into this series.

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**FTC Disclaimer: as a member of Kristi's street team, I received this book for free in exchange for fair and honest feedback.**

On being an introvert and a perfectionist...

Do any of you ever get that BLAH feeling and you just don't want to really engage? That's totally how I've been feeling about having much of a social life. I'm all talk these days. Let's go do something! We should get together! It would be fun to...

The list goes on and on. And I never follow through because I just haven't wanted to. I'm already an introvert, so going out after having already been out all day is just EXHAUSTING.

Okay, I know some people would not believe me for a single second about being an introvert because I'm SUPER GOOD at making people believe otherwise. Really, I could maybe make it as an actress if I only fit the current standard of beauty. Blah blah blah. Whatever.

No, I really am an introvert. When I get home, I am DONE. FINISHED. THE END. I don't want to talk to anyone, see anyone, interact in any way that requires actually speaking. I will sometimes text, but even that gets to be too much sometimes. It totally depends on the situation.

ANYWAY.

This all comes up because I am doing a Veteran's Day assembly at school on Monday, and I am DREADING IT. I shouldn't be dreading it. Veteran's Day is a super special day for me, and I always love talking about and honoring veterans.

Here's the thing: in addition to being an introvert, I am also a raging perfectionist, and the very thought of something not going as planned STRESSES ME OUT. Even though I know FULL WELL that I can't have everything work out every time. It doesn't matter. I still get super anxious about things like this because WHAT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG. Something will go wrong. This is a given. Knowing this does not in any way lessen my anxiety about it.

I am only a perfectionist when it comes to myself. I have this weird obsession about HAVING TO BE PERFECT at all times, and I'm totally not, so I'm constantly stressed about not being perfect. I KNOW. Circular argument in every sense.

It's awful.

Other people don't have to be perfect, even though I'll be fully honest and admit that it stresses me out there too when people don't do it the way I would, but I'm pretty good at keeping my mouth shut and just stressing in private.

I'm working on it.

Online Dating...THE END.

Well,

Yeah, I'm done. Done with online dating, that is. 

If you've never had to do it, count your blessings. You may have no idea how HARD it is to meet someone normal, or at least less crazy than the last guy. 

You guys.

It's HARD. Seriously hard.

But, but, but...my best friend's cousin's neighbor met the love of their life online!

Fabulous! That's great! I'm happy for them!

THEY ARE NOT ME AND I HAVE A WEIRDO MAGNET, REMEMBER?!

I'm telling you, it's HUGE and probably invisible, but it's definitely there.

So the last time we talked, there was a PROSPECT. He said things pretty much exactly how I would say them, he had the same reading habits as me, and YOU GUYS. He was as nuts as they come.

Things started out fine. I went online to delete my account, because remember how I was getting only weirdos? I had a message from THE GUY and I was so excited and I didn't delete my account.

#REGRETS

So we started chatting, and all was going well, and we were thinking we should meet up soon so that we could determine whether or not to proceed. After my last experience with online dating (the time I was engaged to the probable serial killer), I knew I needed to be able to meet them in person and see if there was anything that threw up a red flag.

We made plans to meet on my way down to Utah. It would be easy for me to swing through Logan on my way to Provo, so that made the most sense. I was excited! I was going to meet an actual guy, and one who loved reading and World War II, and on paper, you guys, he was literally perfect.

Until the conversation continued.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Then he started talking about raging hormones. As in, he literally said I HAVE A MASSIVE CASE OF RAGING HORMONES GOING ON AND WHAT THE HECK AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO INFER FROM THAT?! I can tell you what I DID infer, but I won't, and you're welcome.

My mom thought maybe I'd opened the door to that one, because I'd said something about not being terribly experienced and it having been a long time since my last real relationship. Okay, I can grant that, but he SO did not have to come back with that. I was creeped out.

To be honest, the whole thing was starting to remind me of the serial killer, and I knew I COULD NOT go through that again. Not that this guy was a serial killer, or gave off those vibes, because he totally didn't. It's just that it seemed like it was starting to take over my entire day. This is not entirely his fault, because when he messaged, I responded. Excitement, y'all. But it got to be too much. WAY too much. I couldn't let that happen. I stopped responding, thinking that I'd get back in touch the next day (this was before the raging hormones came out). The last message I saw from him was "Have you been thinking of me during the hours we've been apart?" EWWWWWWWW. Not endearing AT ALL. Why are you suddenly turning into stalker dude?!

I didn't respond to that one, because I'd already decided to just not talk until the next day. But when I woke up, there were 43 messages from him. FORTY THREE. What the actual heck?! Why do I need to know what was on his mind at 2:37 in the morning?! No thank you. I didn't read a single one of them because I knew I'd have major regrets, and nope.

So I just didn't say anything and I deleted my account. I'm done with the crazy, you guys. DONE.

And in the end, I'm SUPER THANKFUL that I didn't give him any contact information. No need to change email addresses or phone numbers this time. WHEW.

I'm a magnet...

...a magnet for the unemployed, looking for a sugar mama type, that is.

Yeah, this online dating stuff is JUNK. I'm not a fan. Really not a fan. It just seems like I attract all the weirdos. I mean, this is not a new thing. I've been attracting weirdos for as long as I can remember, so it's just kind of my lot in life, but I want MORE.

*cue Ariel*

I used to have a seriously long list when I was a teenager. It was full of physical attributes, income requirements, etc.

You guys. I just want to meet a NORMAL guy who isn't 5 feet tall, has a decent job, and is educated enough to converse intelligently. I want someone whose conversation goes beyond 'How you doin?' (I got that message literally ALL DAY LONG from one guy.) I need someone who is active in the Church, honors his priesthood, and goes to the temple.

Is that so hard?

Apparently so.

#disgruntled #almostreadytogiveup

June?

June appears to be about to suffer the same fate as May. In other words, passing by like a blur without me even taking stock of what's going on. Such is life, I suppose.

Just so that this doesn't quite happen, here's what's been going on in June.

1. Summer school. I'm teaching 4th grade for June, including some of the kids who were in my class. That's been fun. It's super relaxed and chill. I've really enjoyed it. We've been able to have a lot of fun in areas that aren't generally considered fun *coughwritingcough*, and that's been awesome. Kids have actually been excited to write! This almost literally NEVER HAPPENS to me because I get the lame trade no one wants to go to. Yay me. I've enjoyed worked with the other teachers I'm partnered with as well. Neither of them teach in my building, so it's been loads of fun to get to know them and learn things from them. I'm hoping to do this every year!

2. I've finished a bunch of books that have been awesome, okay, and not so fabulous. Perhaps reviews will be forthcoming. Perhaps not. Totally depends on time. I've got a week of school left, then a reunion, and then we'll see.

3. I JOINED A DATING SITE GUYS.

Like seriously, I did. I don't even know what I was thinking beyond feeling very tired of being alone and wanting to feel like I was being slightly proactive. This one is LDS (not church sponsored, just church standards {IN THEORY}) and so hopefully the quality of fellows is higher than on other sites.

Okay, I'm not exactly holding my breath for that, because I met my ex-fiance through an LDS dating site and I'm pretty sure he was a closeted serial killer, so...

Look, I'm just taking it slow and being careful. I've been very up front about what I want, what I definitely DON'T want (I'm allowed to do that, BTW. None of this garbage about 'you can go out with anyone at least once' this time. NO, I DO NOT HAVE TO DO THAT, THANKS FOR PLAYING BYE.) I had a conversation going with one fellow, and when he found out that one of my requirements was that he make at least what I make, he bailed. Then I looked closer and realized that he was pretty much unemployed, so YEAH. Not looking for a sugar daddy, and definitely not looking to be someone's sugar mama. He also wasn't cool with my politics, which okay, that's fine, but he felt like if I didn't worship at the altar of Trump, we wouldn't match well. That's probably a good thing to find out early, yo. Because I definitely don't worship there, thanks. We wouldn't have gotten along very well at all.

There are a couple of potentials out there, which honestly surprises me. One, in fact, is like me, only a dude. He reads multiple books at once! I've literally NEVER met a guy who does that. I'm hoping we click, because that would be amazing. We'll see.

And in the meantime, WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING HERE AND WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA AND SAVE ME NOW

4. My classroom is almost completely ready for back to school in August. The benefit of teaching summer school and having college students working in the room is that they need teaching time. So while they're teaching, I get to work on other things. Of course, I'm keeping an eye on things and helping where I'm needed. BUT. The huge benefit is that I've been able to get all the little nitpicky things done already. I've updated a couple of decor things that I wasn't loving, printed out all my open house pamphlets, worked up a new substitute binder, made new spelling cards, etc, etc. I've gotten a TON done. Now I feel like I'm going to actually be able to enjoy the summer after school ends. Such a huge blessing! I'm totally not going in after this week until the week before school starts. I have about 800 people holding me to that, so it better happen.

5. I've been working on a major project to sell on Teachers Pay Teachers. Some people actually double (or more!!) their income this way. I'm hoping to get to that point. Right now, I'm creating a HUGE math meeting powerpoint, that is designed to fill the holes that our fancy curriculums don't quite fill. Things like calendaring, time, money, and fact practice. Our program is awesome, but it's lacking a spiral review almost entirely. And the basic skills are non-existent. I guess they felt like by fourth grade, kids wouldn't need those skills? Yeah. Not the best idea ever. So I'm filling holes. I'm also working on some data folder things for TPT, and a multiplication battleship game. In order to sell well, they've got to be all cutesy, and I am DEFINITELY NOT CUTESY, so this is a challenge. But I'm trying.

So there's June. All in all, it's been a pretty good month. Just a flash-by month. Life is good.